I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I haven't been able to give you a chance to come into being in awhile. We're having some issues with insurance, so we've had to wait to try for you again. But we should be able to give you a chance sometime in November or December, when insurance kicks in again and can approve our IVF cycle.

I'm missing you. A friend of ours announced that she's going to have a baby in March, and it made me sad because I want *you* so very much. I dreamed about you last night, that you and I were at the hospital, right after you were delivered and we were left alone. I put you to my breast to nurse you and you latched right on! Your Daddy wasn't there, which was weird, so after you went to sleep I tried to call him, but my phone batteries wouldn't stay in. I couldn't tell anyone you were here! The nurses were very nice though, and you had beautiful blue eyes and dark hair.

It makes me partly sad to think about the dream because I want you here still, when I'm awake, and I can't have you yet. But I'm trying to stay strong because one way or another, you're going to be here, someday.

I can't wait to finally hold you in my arms!

Love,
Mommy