Big guns

I am so excited, Baby.

We've gotten the go-ahead to start an IVF cycle. The timing is really good, since the major events will all be over by the time school starts again, so I won't miss any/ much work. The idea of having you with me at school this year makes me really happy. I've been dreaming about telling our family that I'm pregnant and all of them being just as excited to meet you as I am (well, almost as excited!) Every time I start a new cycle I figure out when I would know by and what family gathering is after that. This time it might be Labor Day, when my parents (your grandparents, but I don't know what they'll want you to call them yet) have a cookout. That may be too early, so I'm working on an alternate plan.

If this cycle doesn't work I won't be able to try to get you going again until around Christmas-time. Please come this cycle. Everyone really wants to meet you.

I love you,
~Mommy

Why?

Dear Baby,

I'm very sad that you're not here this month. I feel like I've been waiting for you forever and will never get to meet you. Is there anything else you need me to be doing? Am I not doing something you need to become you? Or is there something that I *am* doing that I should stop? Is the donor we have picked out not the one you want to be your donor?

Your mommy is not a patient person, especially when it comes to meeting you. Please let me know what you need so you can join our family.

Next chance is in about a month - you've got approximately 6 weeks to get ready for our last IUI.

I love you and want to meet you asap!!
Lots of love,
Mommy

Are you in there??

If so, please give me some sort of a sign, as I am not feeling that you're there at all right now. And these negative home pregnancy tests I keep getting aren't helping. So, I sort of doubt that you've started to form yet, but if you have, it would be nice to know. Today is day 12 past the IUI, so if you're there, you will definitely have implanted by tomorrow at the latest. I really wish I could get a blood test on a Saturday at the doctor's, but most likely they will make me wait. Your mommy does not like to wait longer than necessary. And we're skipping trying next month because Mommy does not want to do another (painful) IUI without Daddy there.

You get one more chance, in August, before we bring out the big guns. And those won't be coming in till December or so, as Mommy needs to go back to work.

This would have been a good cycle to come, Baby. We miss you.

Lots of love,
Mom