Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Happy Transfer Day!

Dear Alex,

I'm watching you across the room from me, asleep and swaddled in your swing. You're just adorable. But a year ago, I was lying at home in bed at this time, "recovering" from our third IVF transfer and wondering if this one would take. I'd already nicknamed you Flash and put your first picture on the fridge to encourage positive thinking.

We got bundled up and drove through the snow to the IVF lab about 30 minutes away, and I watched Whose Line is it Anyway? on Daddy's laptop after we'd checked in and changed into hospital gear. Your Daddy drew a clown nose on himself in green pen to make me laugh - we were doing everything we could to help me relax and laugh. I knit - I forget what, but most likely it was socks. I believe I promised all the nurses socks if it worked. All the medical staff were super friendly and nice, and everything went very smoothly. I got bundled up in warm blankets and wheeled into the procedure room. There were bright lights and several people. I remember thinking that I didn't really want to do this again, that it wasn't particularly comfortable or enjoyable but that if it worked it would be worth it. And that's what kept me breathing - the hope that it would work.

There was lots of lab/ administrative stuff, like having to check my name and birthdate several times over. The actual transfer was fast and "textbook". In the previous transfers I'd had a great view of the ultrasound screen, but I only got a peek this time at the flash on the screen as the embryo (you!) was ejected from the syringe and deposited in the middle of my uterus. After a short wait to let the lab check that the syringe was clear of embryos, I was wheeled back to the waiting area to rest for awhile before packing up. (I also remember getting up and using the bathroom before my time was up, as they made me drink a bunch of water to help with ultrasound visibility. I wasn't too worried about it "taking" or not just from getting up that once.)

I spent the rest of the day resting in bed or on the couch. And the rest of the week waiting and wondering and looking for symptoms.

I am so glad that you are finally here. You have been an amazing kid so far and I don't think you'll ever really know how happy I am to have you in my life.

It's been an awesome year!!


Thursday, February 16, 2012

3 months

Dear Alex,

You're adorable. And terrifying, now that you've learned how to roll over. We often just put you on the bed, and you'll entertain yourself and we don't have to worry about your safety . . . but that's changing. If we leave you on your tummy, there's a good chance you'll be on your back if we turn away for too long. So we need to watch out. I love that you can roll with your brace on - it reassures me that you can still hit all your milestones even though you've got this awful contraption strapped to your legs and waist.

You're make lots of little word-sounding noises. I've heard you "say" yeah, green, mommy, and ok. I know you're not actually talking yet, that these syllables just happen to sound like words, but I love them anyway. When I held up green and purple pants and asked you which one you'd like to wear and you said "geen!" it made me laugh so hard I had trouble getting you dressed!

You're also beginning to teethe. You try to eat your hands, and you drool. You had a screaming meltdown in Northampton at mom's circle the other day, I can only assume from teething pain, since I haven't heard you cry like that ever before, or since. Neither had anyone else in the group - they were so surprised you were crying! It lasted for about half an hour, during which I attempted to comfort you and pack up our stuff, thinking I would drive you down to the doctor's office and demand that they fix you (find something to make you more comfortable, like a pain reliever). Of course, as soon as I got your fleece on and you strapped into the carrier, you conked out fast asleep and I could rejoin the group. I was worried, but since you haven't done it again, I'm not as concerned.

In general, you're a happy, alert, sociable baby. You love playing with your baby gym and batting at the links and toys that dangle from it. As in, you'll play with it for extremely long stretches of time - like an hour. Iv'e never heard of a baby playing with one thing for that long! Yesterday morning you fell asleep playing with it. It was adorable. :)

This past weekend we visiting Daddy's parents out near Boston and went to the Museum of Science to see the Pompeii exhibit. I nursed you while walking around the exhibit, which is the weirdest place we'd breastfed to date. We also visited the infant area in the discovery center for a little while and you made friends with a 6-month-old who was already crawling. You weren't too interested in the exhibits and fell asleep pretty quickly after that.

Right now you are sleeping in your swing after sleeping all night and going to fitness training with me this morning. You went to a Toastmasters meeting with me last night and came up with me to do a Table Topics about weather. You and Daddy spent Tuesday night (Valentine's Day) together while I was at knitting group, and you both loved it.

I am so excited to see you continue to reach developmental milestones and grow and become your own person. It's sad too, that you don't really fit into your newborn outfits anymore, and that you're one of the oldest babies at the Beyond Birth group at the hospital, but we have you and you're happy and pretty healthy, and that's all that mattters.

You are so loved, munchkin. I'm looking forward to seeing what you'll do next!

Love love love,