Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Spring Break
Dear Alex,
You and Daddy are visiting Oma & Granddad this week whiel Daddy's on spring break. I still have to work, so I'm sitting here home alone without either of you. What did I used to do with all this time?! I had a snow day today, so I cleaned up a bit and just sort of hung out.
You've been talking up a storm lately. You've been working on lots of 'b' words - boots, book, bat, ball . . . in addition to your favorites like uh-oh, gato, up, down, mama (finally!), dada, Bubba. You're signing more too - in addition to 'more' 'milk' and 'all done' you can also do cheese, baby/doll, please, banana (often signed when Nana's trying to teach you to say her name!), water, eat, bed. You also try to say "Llama llama" but it comes out like 'blither blither" (picture just making gibberish noises with your lips) and is so funny!
You LOVE being outside. Coming inside is seen as a major tragedy, unless you're hungry. You freely walk around campus like you own it, waving and saying "hi!" to everyone you meet. If they go by you without acknowledging you, you turn around and wave "bye!" You will throw a fit if we don't let you go where you want to go, like in the street. You haven't learned the word "safe" yet.
Your family ADORES you. You don't often cry around them. They totally spoil you, and you take full advantage of it.
I love you, little girl. And I miss you, even though I feel like I should be reveling in my freedom a bit more. (There's a snowstorm on, so it's not like I can go out anyway.) Have fun at Oma's with Daddy, and I'll see you this weekend.
Lots of love,
Mama
Saturday, January 19, 2013
New words, new skills
Dear Alex,
You've been having a pretty fun time as a little toddler. You've learned to go up and down stairs not only quickly but also upright - no more crawling up for you! You'll hold on to the wall and slide your hands up while taking steps up. You don't go too slowly either, which just amazes me. Motivation to learn something definitely accelerates your learning!
Over Christmas you saw your cousin, aunt, & uncle again, and got along with your cousin reasonably well. She took it quite well when you stole the toys we was holding, but if she resisted, you got VERY shrill and angry, very fast. You worked together best when she pushed you on the scooter toy Oma got you. You also loved to take ornaments off the tree to play with!
You have four teeth on top and two on the bottom now. You have been saying, or at least trying to say, a lot of the words we use with you a lot - all done, gentle, down (done?), dada, gato, woof.
Every time you hear music, your face lights up and you begin to bop up and down. You favorites are the themes to Kindergarten and Gilmore Girls. You also like Elizabeth Mitchell and the Nields.
Very often now you'll pick up a piece of cloth around (a blanket, piece or clothing, dishtowel, etc.) and walk around with it, waving it like a banner. Sometimes you'll have one in each hand and look so pleased with yourself and the world. You have a TON of energy. You're happy when you're full, rested, and not teething.
Sleep still is not going great. Daddy has been much better than I have been in getting you to go to sleep, but you still don't sleep through the night and wake up around 4 times a night, wanting something to drink. (I don't blame you. It's dry and too hot in our bedroom, but a humidifier is a pain to hook up and get going night after night in the maze of mattresses that is the bedroom, and Daddy disagrees with me about the heat.)
I've been really really busy with work, and I miss you like crazy when I'm away. I feel like I'm away a lot, doing work. I'd rather be with you, even if I'm exhausted. I've cut back on working out so we can be at home for more time, not with me chasing you around the gym. They love you there, but I don't consider it quality time for you and me. In response, you've become a Daddy's girl. So, I'm feeling guilty that I'm not spending enough time with you and worrying that you'll resent me working so much.
Everyone in the family continues to be completely and totally enamored of you. Your Papi posts pictures of you on Facebook every Friday night when he gets home from spending the day with you.
When I come to pick you up at daycare and you come running over with a huge, excited smile on your face, I know you haven't forgotten me, or gotten resentful that I'm away so much, and I smile back because I am so, so happy that we're together again. We have a few hours to be together until we have to go to bed. Even if, in those few hours, you throw tantrum after tantrum and exhaust me and resist bed like we're trying to kill you instead of help you get some rest, even if what I need more than anything in the world is a shower and a couple of minutes with free hands to get my shoes and coat off, I'm happy to be there with you. Because I'd rather have you crying at my feet because I put you down for three seconds than not there at all. After waiting so long and trying to hard to have you, you're finally here. We finally have you with us. And that's worth more than a few minutes of sleep any time.
I love you so much!
Love,
Mummy
Monday, November 12, 2012
Happy First Birthday!
Dear Alex,
This has been the best year of my life. You are such an amazing kid. I know my writing to you hasn't been as regular as I've wanted, but I've been too busy having fun with YOU! A year ago, you were a tiny thing with weight and nursing struggles and now you're a huge almost-toddler with screen and music obsessions. I find it weird that I don't have much to write - we've had a good time, you're growing and changing, I'm so happy to have you in my life.
I will mention some milestones, but beyond that, life continues to be busy and overall a good time.
You had your family birthday party at Bubba's house the Saturday before your actual birthday. You got lots of presents and first taste of ice cream cake. Great-great-aunts and uncles were there in addition to your regular family.
The day after your birthday, you cut your first tooth.
Your friends party was yesterday, the Sunday after your birthday. Kids to play with! More cake! Presents!
You are moments away from taking your first steps. You'll reach and/or pivot without going down, but for now you'd rather crawl and stand up or push something across the room than actually take those steps. That's okay with me. You're a champion crawler and climber, so it works for you for now.
You still love love love music and TV/ computer/ phone screens. Whenever you hear music, you immediately turn to find the source. Lately you'll start bopping up and down with it too, which is adorable.
You call anything you like 'da-da'. When you're upset, you'll say 'mama-mama'. Your favorite word is 'uh-oh'. You can sign milk but not much else. We're working on 'more' and 'all done'.
Sleep is still not your friend. You want to be eating at the same time, preferably in my or Daddy's arms. In the last few nights, we've seen a slight improvement because we've been filling you full to bursting of food before bed. You'll also reach out for the bottle (or me) and soothe yourself back down that way. Getting some sleep is feeling better than being sleep-deprived. Sometime soon we'll have to help you find some other ways to self soothe. Right now I'm counting it as a victory that you can find the bottle and not need me quite so much to get back to sleep.
You are a wonderful kid. I can't wait to see what these toddler years bring. (Hopefully not more banana-nachos. You offered me one of those a couple of weeks ago, and one was plenty.)
Love you to the Moon and back,
Mummy
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Happy Half Birthday!
Dear Alex,
5/5
Today you turned 6 months. Nana, Gramma, and Papi came up and we went to a concert at the Eric Carle Museum. We came home and had cake and chocolate covered strawberries. (Well, you had Apple/Apricot baby food.)
You can sit up on your own most of the time and stand up if we help you balance.
You've just learned to roll from your back to belly but don't do it all the time.
5/25
Yesterday at the pool (at 6.5 months) you attempted to eat the toes of a 4-month-old you'd just met and pulled the hair of a 2-year-old and made him cry. (You were actually a bit of a bully.) You frequently, now, swat your hands toward other babies in either self-defense, greeting, or attack - I can't tell which.
Inquisitive is a good name for you. It best describes you all time time - you want to see everything that's going on. You're aware, alert, and observant.Right now, as I type, you're watching your Daddy stir his oatmeal and you're attempting to grab some - even though it's hot and you'll cry if you succeed. You often put the wrong end of the spoon in your mouth instead, but you think that tastes pretty good too.
You eat pretty much anything we put in front of you, whether it's edible or not. But really, you love food. (Daddy describes you as a goat because you'll eat anything). You want what WE are having. (Jarred baby food is just meh, but you see my scrambled eggs and it's all "GET IN MY MOUTH!") Your palate isn't so discerning yet. For example, you drink partially-thawed milk and ignore the chunks of ice. Everything must be touched. When we carry you around (and you loved to be carried), you reach your hand out to touch everything.
You hate having your face wiped. Your hands aren't that bad, but you cry most times we try to wash your face.
You sleep about half the night in your pack 'n' play by yourself, and then you wake up and cry, and we take you into our bed. You're still wearing your hip brace at night, which impedes your movement, but occasionally you'll flip yourself over in it but not be able to free your bottom shoulder, and cry. Once in a great while you'll sleep all night, but it's pretty rare. During the night (when you have the brace on) you sleep on your back with your hands either up near your face or straight out from your sides- you hog the bed! You like to be touching both of us, or at least me. I'm on your right, and Daddy's on your left.
You've been to your first Pride Parade, in Northampton. (Papi and Gramma came too.)
Your eyes right now are mostly hazel (light brown/ green) with hints of blue/grey around the edges. YOur hair is a sort of strawberry-blonde color.
You LOVE people. You smile at most everyone, and occasionally still do that pretend-shy thing - hide your head from them for a moment, then look back at them smiling.
You say 'mmmmmmm!' to express displeasure. You can also say 'boo boo boo' and 'mamameeeee' and are beginning to make raspberries - very softly and not very often though. When you're happy you make the cutest little cooing sound. You're also starting to shriek - it's getting louder, and it's funny. Since birth, you've sort of gotten "huffy" first before you cried, and you still do - you start breathing really hard and fast then go "heh heh heh" for awhile to fuss before you get to a full-out cry. Lately you've changed that up once in awhile like it you fall and bump your head or wake suddenly out of a sound sleep - then it's just a blaring wail. But those get turned off as soon as you're picked up, cuddled, and (if you're not okay yet) nursed.
You've been sitting up for awhile now, and you're getting better at keeping your balance. you can even sometimes balance yourself with a hand if you tip over too far to one side. (You still toppled over backwards this morning and cried until you nursed, though, so you're not an expert yet.)
This past week, when Daddy's been on vacation, we've been looking for daycare providers for you, as I'm going back to work in a few months. We found two excellent ones - one that would teach you Spanish and one that will feed you wonderfully healthy, organic food & teach you yoga & about nature. We're leaning toward the healthy one, so if you are having trouble learning Spanish, you can blame it on this decision. We figure we'd rather have you liking veggies and caring for the environment than being bilingual by age 2.
You're starting to copy people now, and you can do "high five!" with Daddy. I'll blow a raspberry to you and you'll stick out your tongue. I'll say "Mummy" or "mamamama" and you'll go "mmm!!" In a happy way.
You like to drink out of our water bottles. You'll get water out of them by sucking, and not be able to swallow it all, so it dribbles down your front.
You've gotten over your intense dislike of the carseat (again) and have started playing and/ or falling asleep in it. When we get to our destination you're either fast asleep or wide awake but silent. I don't often hear your talking to yourself back there, but when I do, I love it. You don't really converse with me yet, even though I talk to you frequently.
You are a cute baby. No really, you are. We were at our friends' house (Connor's family - at his 1st birthday). Micah doesn't hold back his opinions, and he said that most of the time you tell people that they have a cute baby just to be polite, but YOU (Alex!) really ARE a cute baby! You get that a lot, actually. Women tear up and say that you make their uterus hurt because they want kids (or more kids) now that they've seen you. You get comments that you look like a little elf. In a good way.
The early intervention specialist said that we should practice putting objects in front of you and cover them with a cloth, but that just makes you lose interest. So, we're not sure if you get the object permanence thing yet - I'm thinking that you don't, because you cry as soon as I leave a room.
You're laughing more lately. Not a LOT, but much more than before. Usually it's because we're burbling on your belly, but last week it was because I was playing peekaboo with you with a big sheet. You LOVED it, but you haven't really liked peekaboo before or since.
You're 14 lbs, 2 oz and about 25 inches long. Your head comes above Daddy's knee and you feel heavier to pick up.
We're headed off to Oma and Granddad's for Memorial Day this weekend. Packing for you gets easier every time - no need to bring a swing or a ton of extra onesies this time. No pump, either, which is going to be nice!
You're getting fussy to nurse (again), so I'm going to sign off - it's not that long till your seven-month post, anyway. I'll get you caught up then if I've missed something.
I love you!
~Mummy (& Daddy)
5/5
Today you turned 6 months. Nana, Gramma, and Papi came up and we went to a concert at the Eric Carle Museum. We came home and had cake and chocolate covered strawberries. (Well, you had Apple/Apricot baby food.)
You can sit up on your own most of the time and stand up if we help you balance.
You've just learned to roll from your back to belly but don't do it all the time.
5/25
Yesterday at the pool (at 6.5 months) you attempted to eat the toes of a 4-month-old you'd just met and pulled the hair of a 2-year-old and made him cry. (You were actually a bit of a bully.) You frequently, now, swat your hands toward other babies in either self-defense, greeting, or attack - I can't tell which.
Inquisitive is a good name for you. It best describes you all time time - you want to see everything that's going on. You're aware, alert, and observant.Right now, as I type, you're watching your Daddy stir his oatmeal and you're attempting to grab some - even though it's hot and you'll cry if you succeed. You often put the wrong end of the spoon in your mouth instead, but you think that tastes pretty good too.
You eat pretty much anything we put in front of you, whether it's edible or not. But really, you love food. (Daddy describes you as a goat because you'll eat anything). You want what WE are having. (Jarred baby food is just meh, but you see my scrambled eggs and it's all "GET IN MY MOUTH!") Your palate isn't so discerning yet. For example, you drink partially-thawed milk and ignore the chunks of ice. Everything must be touched. When we carry you around (and you loved to be carried), you reach your hand out to touch everything.
You hate having your face wiped. Your hands aren't that bad, but you cry most times we try to wash your face.
You sleep about half the night in your pack 'n' play by yourself, and then you wake up and cry, and we take you into our bed. You're still wearing your hip brace at night, which impedes your movement, but occasionally you'll flip yourself over in it but not be able to free your bottom shoulder, and cry. Once in a great while you'll sleep all night, but it's pretty rare. During the night (when you have the brace on) you sleep on your back with your hands either up near your face or straight out from your sides- you hog the bed! You like to be touching both of us, or at least me. I'm on your right, and Daddy's on your left.
You've been to your first Pride Parade, in Northampton. (Papi and Gramma came too.)
Your eyes right now are mostly hazel (light brown/ green) with hints of blue/grey around the edges. YOur hair is a sort of strawberry-blonde color.
You LOVE people. You smile at most everyone, and occasionally still do that pretend-shy thing - hide your head from them for a moment, then look back at them smiling.
You say 'mmmmmmm!' to express displeasure. You can also say 'boo boo boo' and 'mamameeeee' and are beginning to make raspberries - very softly and not very often though. When you're happy you make the cutest little cooing sound. You're also starting to shriek - it's getting louder, and it's funny. Since birth, you've sort of gotten "huffy" first before you cried, and you still do - you start breathing really hard and fast then go "heh heh heh" for awhile to fuss before you get to a full-out cry. Lately you've changed that up once in awhile like it you fall and bump your head or wake suddenly out of a sound sleep - then it's just a blaring wail. But those get turned off as soon as you're picked up, cuddled, and (if you're not okay yet) nursed.
You've been sitting up for awhile now, and you're getting better at keeping your balance. you can even sometimes balance yourself with a hand if you tip over too far to one side. (You still toppled over backwards this morning and cried until you nursed, though, so you're not an expert yet.)
This past week, when Daddy's been on vacation, we've been looking for daycare providers for you, as I'm going back to work in a few months. We found two excellent ones - one that would teach you Spanish and one that will feed you wonderfully healthy, organic food & teach you yoga & about nature. We're leaning toward the healthy one, so if you are having trouble learning Spanish, you can blame it on this decision. We figure we'd rather have you liking veggies and caring for the environment than being bilingual by age 2.
You're starting to copy people now, and you can do "high five!" with Daddy. I'll blow a raspberry to you and you'll stick out your tongue. I'll say "Mummy" or "mamamama" and you'll go "mmm!!" In a happy way.
You like to drink out of our water bottles. You'll get water out of them by sucking, and not be able to swallow it all, so it dribbles down your front.
You've gotten over your intense dislike of the carseat (again) and have started playing and/ or falling asleep in it. When we get to our destination you're either fast asleep or wide awake but silent. I don't often hear your talking to yourself back there, but when I do, I love it. You don't really converse with me yet, even though I talk to you frequently.
You are a cute baby. No really, you are. We were at our friends' house (Connor's family - at his 1st birthday). Micah doesn't hold back his opinions, and he said that most of the time you tell people that they have a cute baby just to be polite, but YOU (Alex!) really ARE a cute baby! You get that a lot, actually. Women tear up and say that you make their uterus hurt because they want kids (or more kids) now that they've seen you. You get comments that you look like a little elf. In a good way.
The early intervention specialist said that we should practice putting objects in front of you and cover them with a cloth, but that just makes you lose interest. So, we're not sure if you get the object permanence thing yet - I'm thinking that you don't, because you cry as soon as I leave a room.
You're laughing more lately. Not a LOT, but much more than before. Usually it's because we're burbling on your belly, but last week it was because I was playing peekaboo with you with a big sheet. You LOVED it, but you haven't really liked peekaboo before or since.
You're 14 lbs, 2 oz and about 25 inches long. Your head comes above Daddy's knee and you feel heavier to pick up.
We're headed off to Oma and Granddad's for Memorial Day this weekend. Packing for you gets easier every time - no need to bring a swing or a ton of extra onesies this time. No pump, either, which is going to be nice!
You're getting fussy to nurse (again), so I'm going to sign off - it's not that long till your seven-month post, anyway. I'll get you caught up then if I've missed something.
I love you!
~Mummy (& Daddy)
Friday, April 6, 2012
Five months
Dear Alex,
Five months sounds like such a big baby! You're really still a peanut, though. You're about 12 pounds and 23 inches, which is on the extreme bottom of the growth curve. But you're alert and happy and otherwise pretty healthy.
You've rolled from your back to tummy once or twice at Oma & Granddad's, but not at all since then. You've been doing crunches to try to sit up but don't have the balance yet. You don't talk often, but when you do, it sometimes sounds like words (hi, hello, hey, mama) Your grip is strong when you decide to use it (usually on my skin!). When given a doll, you'll most likely go for the hair or head and try to put it in your mouth.
Sleep is sort of getting better - you'll go down more easily after you're changed into jammies & brace and read a story (and fed and swaddled), but you'll usually wake up a few hours later ready to nurse - fine, because you come into bed with us then, but then you're up to nurse a couple more times before morning. If I have to be up early, it's pretty rough! But it's nice having a bedtime routine now.
You hate baths. And showers. You scream like we're hurting you, even after you're out and being toweled off, and you look at us like "why did you DO that to me?!!" So you don't get baths very often.
We spent spring break week with Daddy's parents, and went into Boston and had fun with them. You ate solids much more than before, including half a banana (mashed up) and sweet potato. When you like what you're eating, and we're not giving you another bite fast enough, you yell and cry until we give you more! Mostly you get whatever we're eating that's safe for you to eat, mashed up.
Your brace is only on for "nights and naps" now - except you won't wear it for naps. If I try to put it on you, you'll wake up from your nap and not go back to sleep. So we're just doing nights for now. I hope it'll be okay in 2 months when we go back for your next visit!
Tomorrow we're seeing Daddy's parents for breakfast and my family for egg-coloring because this weekend is your first Easter! I doubt you'll be very impressed with the egg coloring, as there's not much eating involved with it, but I'm sure you'll like seeing your family and all the attention you get from them.
We have a couple of swim diapers and a rash guard T shirt for you for swimming/ summer if you're interested in going in the water. I have my doubts, but Daddy's going to try anyway.
This last month has been so wonderful with you. I look at you every day and am so thankful for you. You're so happy and cute and enjoyable! That doesn't erase the hurt from the years before you arrived, but it makes the payoff of having you so much sweeter than if you were a difficult baby!
I love you. We waited for you for a long time, and we're so glad you're finally here.
So much love,
Mummy
Five months sounds like such a big baby! You're really still a peanut, though. You're about 12 pounds and 23 inches, which is on the extreme bottom of the growth curve. But you're alert and happy and otherwise pretty healthy.
You've rolled from your back to tummy once or twice at Oma & Granddad's, but not at all since then. You've been doing crunches to try to sit up but don't have the balance yet. You don't talk often, but when you do, it sometimes sounds like words (hi, hello, hey, mama) Your grip is strong when you decide to use it (usually on my skin!). When given a doll, you'll most likely go for the hair or head and try to put it in your mouth.
Sleep is sort of getting better - you'll go down more easily after you're changed into jammies & brace and read a story (and fed and swaddled), but you'll usually wake up a few hours later ready to nurse - fine, because you come into bed with us then, but then you're up to nurse a couple more times before morning. If I have to be up early, it's pretty rough! But it's nice having a bedtime routine now.
You hate baths. And showers. You scream like we're hurting you, even after you're out and being toweled off, and you look at us like "why did you DO that to me?!!" So you don't get baths very often.
We spent spring break week with Daddy's parents, and went into Boston and had fun with them. You ate solids much more than before, including half a banana (mashed up) and sweet potato. When you like what you're eating, and we're not giving you another bite fast enough, you yell and cry until we give you more! Mostly you get whatever we're eating that's safe for you to eat, mashed up.
Your brace is only on for "nights and naps" now - except you won't wear it for naps. If I try to put it on you, you'll wake up from your nap and not go back to sleep. So we're just doing nights for now. I hope it'll be okay in 2 months when we go back for your next visit!
Tomorrow we're seeing Daddy's parents for breakfast and my family for egg-coloring because this weekend is your first Easter! I doubt you'll be very impressed with the egg coloring, as there's not much eating involved with it, but I'm sure you'll like seeing your family and all the attention you get from them.
We have a couple of swim diapers and a rash guard T shirt for you for swimming/ summer if you're interested in going in the water. I have my doubts, but Daddy's going to try anyway.
This last month has been so wonderful with you. I look at you every day and am so thankful for you. You're so happy and cute and enjoyable! That doesn't erase the hurt from the years before you arrived, but it makes the payoff of having you so much sweeter than if you were a difficult baby!
I love you. We waited for you for a long time, and we're so glad you're finally here.
So much love,
Mummy
Monday, March 5, 2012
Four months
Dear Alex,
I can't believe it's been four months since you were born. It seems like such a short amount of time - four months. But it feels like you've been here a lot longer than that. You've grown and changed so much since I first saw you as a tiny little thing in a yellow hat in the operating room!
Right now, you can roll from your tummy to your back and from your back to your side. Your eyes are changing from blue-grey to a rainbow - amber/green toward the pupil and dark blue-grey toward the whites of your eyes. Your hair is light brown with undertones of red. If you end up with green eyes and red hair I am going to be very surprised and very excited! More likely you'll have brown eyes and brown hair like me, though.
Your hip brace is able to be removed for several hours a day now, and that makes many things a lot easier. The car seat, for one. And holding you. Side-lying nursing with it is still awkward because you either have to lie flat on your back and turn your head or have one leg dangling up in the air.
You've started doing this pretend-shy thing with strangers (even Gramma & Papi) where you bury your face in my/ Daddy's shoulder for a moment then look back at the other people and smile really big. It's adorable and a total act. You're not a bit shy!
I like to see you interacting with other people. Your smile is just so cute. YOU are cute! I smile at you and you smile back. Sometimes you reach your hands out to me. Very often in the mornings you'll look toward where I am in the bed if I've gotten up and your Daddy's holding you. He says you "know where the milk comes from"!
Speaking of milk, nursing is going pretty well. You nurse often but still take a bottle when it's just too much touching for me, or I can't be there. Sleep is another issue, though - after doing great with sleep for almost 4 months, over the past week or so you've been waking up more and nursing more at night. This is normal, but it's still leaving me very tired in the mornings!
Lately I've been really enjoying you and happy with how you're growing (although I wish it wasn't going by so fast!) Playing with you is so much fun. You make cute noises and smile and try to nom on the toys. I'm trying to get you to learn to roll from your back to tummy, with or without the brace, but so far we've only gotten you to your side before you get stuck.
You are awesome and I am so, so, so happy you're part of my family!
Lots and lots of love,
Mummy
I can't believe it's been four months since you were born. It seems like such a short amount of time - four months. But it feels like you've been here a lot longer than that. You've grown and changed so much since I first saw you as a tiny little thing in a yellow hat in the operating room!
Right now, you can roll from your tummy to your back and from your back to your side. Your eyes are changing from blue-grey to a rainbow - amber/green toward the pupil and dark blue-grey toward the whites of your eyes. Your hair is light brown with undertones of red. If you end up with green eyes and red hair I am going to be very surprised and very excited! More likely you'll have brown eyes and brown hair like me, though.
Your hip brace is able to be removed for several hours a day now, and that makes many things a lot easier. The car seat, for one. And holding you. Side-lying nursing with it is still awkward because you either have to lie flat on your back and turn your head or have one leg dangling up in the air.
You've started doing this pretend-shy thing with strangers (even Gramma & Papi) where you bury your face in my/ Daddy's shoulder for a moment then look back at the other people and smile really big. It's adorable and a total act. You're not a bit shy!
I like to see you interacting with other people. Your smile is just so cute. YOU are cute! I smile at you and you smile back. Sometimes you reach your hands out to me. Very often in the mornings you'll look toward where I am in the bed if I've gotten up and your Daddy's holding you. He says you "know where the milk comes from"!
Speaking of milk, nursing is going pretty well. You nurse often but still take a bottle when it's just too much touching for me, or I can't be there. Sleep is another issue, though - after doing great with sleep for almost 4 months, over the past week or so you've been waking up more and nursing more at night. This is normal, but it's still leaving me very tired in the mornings!
Lately I've been really enjoying you and happy with how you're growing (although I wish it wasn't going by so fast!) Playing with you is so much fun. You make cute noises and smile and try to nom on the toys. I'm trying to get you to learn to roll from your back to tummy, with or without the brace, but so far we've only gotten you to your side before you get stuck.
You are awesome and I am so, so, so happy you're part of my family!
Lots and lots of love,
Mummy
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Happy Transfer Day!
Dear Alex,
I'm watching you across the room from me, asleep and swaddled in your swing. You're just adorable. But a year ago, I was lying at home in bed at this time, "recovering" from our third IVF transfer and wondering if this one would take. I'd already nicknamed you Flash and put your first picture on the fridge to encourage positive thinking.
We got bundled up and drove through the snow to the IVF lab about 30 minutes away, and I watched Whose Line is it Anyway? on Daddy's laptop after we'd checked in and changed into hospital gear. Your Daddy drew a clown nose on himself in green pen to make me laugh - we were doing everything we could to help me relax and laugh. I knit - I forget what, but most likely it was socks. I believe I promised all the nurses socks if it worked. All the medical staff were super friendly and nice, and everything went very smoothly. I got bundled up in warm blankets and wheeled into the procedure room. There were bright lights and several people. I remember thinking that I didn't really want to do this again, that it wasn't particularly comfortable or enjoyable but that if it worked it would be worth it. And that's what kept me breathing - the hope that it would work.
There was lots of lab/ administrative stuff, like having to check my name and birthdate several times over. The actual transfer was fast and "textbook". In the previous transfers I'd had a great view of the ultrasound screen, but I only got a peek this time at the flash on the screen as the embryo (you!) was ejected from the syringe and deposited in the middle of my uterus. After a short wait to let the lab check that the syringe was clear of embryos, I was wheeled back to the waiting area to rest for awhile before packing up. (I also remember getting up and using the bathroom before my time was up, as they made me drink a bunch of water to help with ultrasound visibility. I wasn't too worried about it "taking" or not just from getting up that once.)
I spent the rest of the day resting in bed or on the couch. And the rest of the week waiting and wondering and looking for symptoms.
I am so glad that you are finally here. You have been an amazing kid so far and I don't think you'll ever really know how happy I am to have you in my life.
It's been an awesome year!!
Love,
Mommy
I'm watching you across the room from me, asleep and swaddled in your swing. You're just adorable. But a year ago, I was lying at home in bed at this time, "recovering" from our third IVF transfer and wondering if this one would take. I'd already nicknamed you Flash and put your first picture on the fridge to encourage positive thinking.
We got bundled up and drove through the snow to the IVF lab about 30 minutes away, and I watched Whose Line is it Anyway? on Daddy's laptop after we'd checked in and changed into hospital gear. Your Daddy drew a clown nose on himself in green pen to make me laugh - we were doing everything we could to help me relax and laugh. I knit - I forget what, but most likely it was socks. I believe I promised all the nurses socks if it worked. All the medical staff were super friendly and nice, and everything went very smoothly. I got bundled up in warm blankets and wheeled into the procedure room. There were bright lights and several people. I remember thinking that I didn't really want to do this again, that it wasn't particularly comfortable or enjoyable but that if it worked it would be worth it. And that's what kept me breathing - the hope that it would work.
There was lots of lab/ administrative stuff, like having to check my name and birthdate several times over. The actual transfer was fast and "textbook". In the previous transfers I'd had a great view of the ultrasound screen, but I only got a peek this time at the flash on the screen as the embryo (you!) was ejected from the syringe and deposited in the middle of my uterus. After a short wait to let the lab check that the syringe was clear of embryos, I was wheeled back to the waiting area to rest for awhile before packing up. (I also remember getting up and using the bathroom before my time was up, as they made me drink a bunch of water to help with ultrasound visibility. I wasn't too worried about it "taking" or not just from getting up that once.)
I spent the rest of the day resting in bed or on the couch. And the rest of the week waiting and wondering and looking for symptoms.
I am so glad that you are finally here. You have been an amazing kid so far and I don't think you'll ever really know how happy I am to have you in my life.
It's been an awesome year!!
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, February 16, 2012
3 months
Dear Alex,
You're adorable. And terrifying, now that you've learned how to roll over. We often just put you on the bed, and you'll entertain yourself and we don't have to worry about your safety . . . but that's changing. If we leave you on your tummy, there's a good chance you'll be on your back if we turn away for too long. So we need to watch out. I love that you can roll with your brace on - it reassures me that you can still hit all your milestones even though you've got this awful contraption strapped to your legs and waist.
You're make lots of little word-sounding noises. I've heard you "say" yeah, green, mommy, and ok. I know you're not actually talking yet, that these syllables just happen to sound like words, but I love them anyway. When I held up green and purple pants and asked you which one you'd like to wear and you said "geen!" it made me laugh so hard I had trouble getting you dressed!
You're also beginning to teethe. You try to eat your hands, and you drool. You had a screaming meltdown in Northampton at mom's circle the other day, I can only assume from teething pain, since I haven't heard you cry like that ever before, or since. Neither had anyone else in the group - they were so surprised you were crying! It lasted for about half an hour, during which I attempted to comfort you and pack up our stuff, thinking I would drive you down to the doctor's office and demand that they fix you (find something to make you more comfortable, like a pain reliever). Of course, as soon as I got your fleece on and you strapped into the carrier, you conked out fast asleep and I could rejoin the group. I was worried, but since you haven't done it again, I'm not as concerned.
In general, you're a happy, alert, sociable baby. You love playing with your baby gym and batting at the links and toys that dangle from it. As in, you'll play with it for extremely long stretches of time - like an hour. Iv'e never heard of a baby playing with one thing for that long! Yesterday morning you fell asleep playing with it. It was adorable. :)
This past weekend we visiting Daddy's parents out near Boston and went to the Museum of Science to see the Pompeii exhibit. I nursed you while walking around the exhibit, which is the weirdest place we'd breastfed to date. We also visited the infant area in the discovery center for a little while and you made friends with a 6-month-old who was already crawling. You weren't too interested in the exhibits and fell asleep pretty quickly after that.
Right now you are sleeping in your swing after sleeping all night and going to fitness training with me this morning. You went to a Toastmasters meeting with me last night and came up with me to do a Table Topics about weather. You and Daddy spent Tuesday night (Valentine's Day) together while I was at knitting group, and you both loved it.
I am so excited to see you continue to reach developmental milestones and grow and become your own person. It's sad too, that you don't really fit into your newborn outfits anymore, and that you're one of the oldest babies at the Beyond Birth group at the hospital, but we have you and you're happy and pretty healthy, and that's all that mattters.
You are so loved, munchkin. I'm looking forward to seeing what you'll do next!
Love love love,
Mommy
You're adorable. And terrifying, now that you've learned how to roll over. We often just put you on the bed, and you'll entertain yourself and we don't have to worry about your safety . . . but that's changing. If we leave you on your tummy, there's a good chance you'll be on your back if we turn away for too long. So we need to watch out. I love that you can roll with your brace on - it reassures me that you can still hit all your milestones even though you've got this awful contraption strapped to your legs and waist.
You're make lots of little word-sounding noises. I've heard you "say" yeah, green, mommy, and ok. I know you're not actually talking yet, that these syllables just happen to sound like words, but I love them anyway. When I held up green and purple pants and asked you which one you'd like to wear and you said "geen!" it made me laugh so hard I had trouble getting you dressed!
You're also beginning to teethe. You try to eat your hands, and you drool. You had a screaming meltdown in Northampton at mom's circle the other day, I can only assume from teething pain, since I haven't heard you cry like that ever before, or since. Neither had anyone else in the group - they were so surprised you were crying! It lasted for about half an hour, during which I attempted to comfort you and pack up our stuff, thinking I would drive you down to the doctor's office and demand that they fix you (find something to make you more comfortable, like a pain reliever). Of course, as soon as I got your fleece on and you strapped into the carrier, you conked out fast asleep and I could rejoin the group. I was worried, but since you haven't done it again, I'm not as concerned.
In general, you're a happy, alert, sociable baby. You love playing with your baby gym and batting at the links and toys that dangle from it. As in, you'll play with it for extremely long stretches of time - like an hour. Iv'e never heard of a baby playing with one thing for that long! Yesterday morning you fell asleep playing with it. It was adorable. :)
This past weekend we visiting Daddy's parents out near Boston and went to the Museum of Science to see the Pompeii exhibit. I nursed you while walking around the exhibit, which is the weirdest place we'd breastfed to date. We also visited the infant area in the discovery center for a little while and you made friends with a 6-month-old who was already crawling. You weren't too interested in the exhibits and fell asleep pretty quickly after that.
Right now you are sleeping in your swing after sleeping all night and going to fitness training with me this morning. You went to a Toastmasters meeting with me last night and came up with me to do a Table Topics about weather. You and Daddy spent Tuesday night (Valentine's Day) together while I was at knitting group, and you both loved it.
I am so excited to see you continue to reach developmental milestones and grow and become your own person. It's sad too, that you don't really fit into your newborn outfits anymore, and that you're one of the oldest babies at the Beyond Birth group at the hospital, but we have you and you're happy and pretty healthy, and that's all that mattters.
You are so loved, munchkin. I'm looking forward to seeing what you'll do next!
Love love love,
Mommy
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Hip Brace
Dear Alex,
We've had quite the weekend. And I don't necessarily mean that it was all good. On Friday, your harness came off (yay!) and you got your Brace. You cried when the orthotist put it on you. Maybe it's only because you weren't wearing anything between The Brace and your skin, but it sounded much more like you HATED it and wanted out NOW. The fussiness has continued through now (Sunday night). There are definitely moments of smiling and cooing where you're happy and sociable, but much more often over the last two days, you've been fussing, wanting to nurse, or sleeping. (The last time I changed your diaper you were fussing until I took The Brace off. Then you were all smiles.) I've been really upset about The Brace too, since it's so much more in-your-face than the harness. We could very nearly ignore the harness. The Brace has to be removed and reapplied for every diaper change. It's much easier for people to pity you with The Brace - the harness was downright cute in comparison. I'm planning on dressing it up with some fabric soon, so it doesn't look so scary and medical.
It's nice to be able to have more clothing options, yes, and the freedom to get you 100% naked for a bath is nice, but I don't think the pros outweigh the cons in terms of practicalities. I just hope that it really helps your hips get fixed and that you'll be out of it as soon as possible.
There's some comfort in knowing that you won't have any memory of wearing the brace, that this will all just be stories we tell you when you're older.
We've had quite the weekend. And I don't necessarily mean that it was all good. On Friday, your harness came off (yay!) and you got your Brace. You cried when the orthotist put it on you. Maybe it's only because you weren't wearing anything between The Brace and your skin, but it sounded much more like you HATED it and wanted out NOW. The fussiness has continued through now (Sunday night). There are definitely moments of smiling and cooing where you're happy and sociable, but much more often over the last two days, you've been fussing, wanting to nurse, or sleeping. (The last time I changed your diaper you were fussing until I took The Brace off. Then you were all smiles.) I've been really upset about The Brace too, since it's so much more in-your-face than the harness. We could very nearly ignore the harness. The Brace has to be removed and reapplied for every diaper change. It's much easier for people to pity you with The Brace - the harness was downright cute in comparison. I'm planning on dressing it up with some fabric soon, so it doesn't look so scary and medical.
It's nice to be able to have more clothing options, yes, and the freedom to get you 100% naked for a bath is nice, but I don't think the pros outweigh the cons in terms of practicalities. I just hope that it really helps your hips get fixed and that you'll be out of it as soon as possible.
There's some comfort in knowing that you won't have any memory of wearing the brace, that this will all just be stories we tell you when you're older.
Monday, January 9, 2012
2 months/ 9 weeks
Dear Alex,
It is crazy how cute you are. Right now you're (finally) asleep in your swing after a long and hard-fought battle to keep your eyes open. I just got finished pumping, and Daddy is in the bedroom, researching some problems I'm having with nursing. The last few days have been tough, as you are clearly anti-right-side nursing at the moment, but you're also sleeping like a champ most of the time, including usually through the night (5-6 hours at a stretch overnight sometimes).
You're smiling now. Not all the time, but definitely at me and at strangers (possibly not at Daddy, though. Hmm.) You will usually settle down more with me than if a stranger is holding you. You don't freak when someone else holds you, though, and that's a relief. You're awesome and everything, but I need my space and time to myself sometimes, too! I'm hoping that laughing is coming up soon.
Your first Christmas was a success. You had a red velvet dress that you wore on Christmas Eve to Aunt Peggy's house for Mom's family party and to Midnight Mass where we heard Bubba sing and got to sit in the cry room for the first time. We took pictures of you in your Christmas dress lying in the manger the Sunday school kids used in the Christmas pageant. (I think we emailed those pictures to you - if not they're on the Shutterfly site that I really hope will still exist when you're old enough to read this and want to see the pictures.) We hung up the stocking that Nana made for you that looks just like mine, and you sat in my lap on Christmas morning to open presents. For our first New Year's Eve together we stayed at home, watched the last two Harry Potter movies, and had ice cream milkshakes and sparkling cider. It was more fun than standing out in the cold for First Night Northampton or than driving home from a party at a friend's house over an hour away. It was just the three of us, and that made it perfect.
Last week you went to yet another appointment for your hip at Shriner's. They put you into a MEDIUM sized harness, and I definitely wasn't ready to hear that you're medium-sized now. Aren't you supposed to be small and a peanut for a little while longer? It feels like you are growing so fast in these last few weeks! I'm hoping that at your next appointment, in two weeks, they'll put you into something less restrictive, that we can take off every now and then for a bath and easier diaper changes.
We put up the doorway jumper a couple of days ago, 2 months ahead of the recommended age. You looked so tiny in it the first time we put you in! You were flopping forward and we had to stuff towels in around you. But then we bought a "Hugga Bebe", which supports you all around, including behind your head, and that helped a lot. You fell asleep in it after that, since we were using it more as a swing than a jumper. That's definitely okay, we have a lot of time to play around with it in the upcoming months.
We have started using cloth diapers on you as of yesterday. The plan is to use disposables overnight and for travel until we run out of the thousand or so I got at the baby shower. I think we forgot to change you into disposables tonight, though, so I see a swing seat-washing in my future.
Last night my friend C, her husband N, and her 2 daughters came over to visit, as they were visiting friends and family on their trip back here from where they live in Singapore. E is 3 and R is 12 weeks, just a little bit older than you. If things had gone according to due dates, you'd be older than R since I was due a week earlier than C, but R came out at 35.5 weeks and you came out at 39.5 weeks. It doesn't really matter, as you're clearly two very different little girls anyway. You look much chunkier because of your harness. Holding R was definitely a different experience from holding you. She felt "squishier" and more fragile - no Velcro strap around her chest! Again, I will send pictures of you and R. I really hope that you and she will become friends as you get older, and not just tolerate each other because your moms are friends.
You come with me to the gym for personal training. The first time, I wore you in a sling, but the owner said that maybe that wasn't the best idea, so since then we've put you in an Exersaucer until you get crabby, then hand you off to whoever is around and willing to hold a baby for the rest of the session. Then I feed you (if the baby holder person hasn't fed you a bottle of expressed milk - sometimes you just can't wait till I'm done!), change, and we go home or on to run errands. It works pretty well because I don't have to worry about getting a babysitter for you, everyone at the gym gets to ooh and aah over how cute you are, and you get to know more people than just us parents and a babysitter.
Tomorrow is your two-month appointment at the doctor's. You'll be getting your first immunization shots, aside from the Hep B one I wasn't present for at the hospital. I'm not nervous, exactly. But I don't know what to expect with you and needles, and I don't know what side effects are normal and what I should worry about. We'll get through it together. I'm not too worried.
You continue to love your pacifier and the hair dryer. We haven't weaned off the nipple shield yet, but we've had some success feeding without it a couple of times. Your dad has finally relented and allowed small amounts of pink into your wardrobe (e.g. socks). You have a love/hate relationship with the car seat. As long as you have your pacifier in your mouth, all is good with the seat, but ifyou spit it falls out you sound like the world is ending until I can twist around to hold it back in your mouth.
Our third month together is looking good. I know that in a couple of months you won't be sleeping as well, so I'm enjoying it while it lasts. The nursing problems are going to work themselves out, or we'll get help with them. Either way, that'll get better too. I wish you'd just stay this little for a lot longer than you're going to, but I can't change that. Instead, I'm just enjoying every cuddle and trying to soak in as many images and memories of you at this age as I possibly can. It's still a thing of wonder that you're here at all, that after so much time wishing and hoping and trying to have a baby, we have you. You're just what I wanted, and having you as part of our family is exactly like I imagined having a baby would be like. (Crying and everything!)
I love you and wouldn't trade you for anything or any other baby. You are my girl and will be forever.
Love forever,
Your Mommy
It is crazy how cute you are. Right now you're (finally) asleep in your swing after a long and hard-fought battle to keep your eyes open. I just got finished pumping, and Daddy is in the bedroom, researching some problems I'm having with nursing. The last few days have been tough, as you are clearly anti-right-side nursing at the moment, but you're also sleeping like a champ most of the time, including usually through the night (5-6 hours at a stretch overnight sometimes).
You're smiling now. Not all the time, but definitely at me and at strangers (possibly not at Daddy, though. Hmm.) You will usually settle down more with me than if a stranger is holding you. You don't freak when someone else holds you, though, and that's a relief. You're awesome and everything, but I need my space and time to myself sometimes, too! I'm hoping that laughing is coming up soon.
Your first Christmas was a success. You had a red velvet dress that you wore on Christmas Eve to Aunt Peggy's house for Mom's family party and to Midnight Mass where we heard Bubba sing and got to sit in the cry room for the first time. We took pictures of you in your Christmas dress lying in the manger the Sunday school kids used in the Christmas pageant. (I think we emailed those pictures to you - if not they're on the Shutterfly site that I really hope will still exist when you're old enough to read this and want to see the pictures.) We hung up the stocking that Nana made for you that looks just like mine, and you sat in my lap on Christmas morning to open presents. For our first New Year's Eve together we stayed at home, watched the last two Harry Potter movies, and had ice cream milkshakes and sparkling cider. It was more fun than standing out in the cold for First Night Northampton or than driving home from a party at a friend's house over an hour away. It was just the three of us, and that made it perfect.
Last week you went to yet another appointment for your hip at Shriner's. They put you into a MEDIUM sized harness, and I definitely wasn't ready to hear that you're medium-sized now. Aren't you supposed to be small and a peanut for a little while longer? It feels like you are growing so fast in these last few weeks! I'm hoping that at your next appointment, in two weeks, they'll put you into something less restrictive, that we can take off every now and then for a bath and easier diaper changes.
We put up the doorway jumper a couple of days ago, 2 months ahead of the recommended age. You looked so tiny in it the first time we put you in! You were flopping forward and we had to stuff towels in around you. But then we bought a "Hugga Bebe", which supports you all around, including behind your head, and that helped a lot. You fell asleep in it after that, since we were using it more as a swing than a jumper. That's definitely okay, we have a lot of time to play around with it in the upcoming months.
We have started using cloth diapers on you as of yesterday. The plan is to use disposables overnight and for travel until we run out of the thousand or so I got at the baby shower. I think we forgot to change you into disposables tonight, though, so I see a swing seat-washing in my future.
Last night my friend C, her husband N, and her 2 daughters came over to visit, as they were visiting friends and family on their trip back here from where they live in Singapore. E is 3 and R is 12 weeks, just a little bit older than you. If things had gone according to due dates, you'd be older than R since I was due a week earlier than C, but R came out at 35.5 weeks and you came out at 39.5 weeks. It doesn't really matter, as you're clearly two very different little girls anyway. You look much chunkier because of your harness. Holding R was definitely a different experience from holding you. She felt "squishier" and more fragile - no Velcro strap around her chest! Again, I will send pictures of you and R. I really hope that you and she will become friends as you get older, and not just tolerate each other because your moms are friends.
You come with me to the gym for personal training. The first time, I wore you in a sling, but the owner said that maybe that wasn't the best idea, so since then we've put you in an Exersaucer until you get crabby, then hand you off to whoever is around and willing to hold a baby for the rest of the session. Then I feed you (if the baby holder person hasn't fed you a bottle of expressed milk - sometimes you just can't wait till I'm done!), change, and we go home or on to run errands. It works pretty well because I don't have to worry about getting a babysitter for you, everyone at the gym gets to ooh and aah over how cute you are, and you get to know more people than just us parents and a babysitter.
Tomorrow is your two-month appointment at the doctor's. You'll be getting your first immunization shots, aside from the Hep B one I wasn't present for at the hospital. I'm not nervous, exactly. But I don't know what to expect with you and needles, and I don't know what side effects are normal and what I should worry about. We'll get through it together. I'm not too worried.
You continue to love your pacifier and the hair dryer. We haven't weaned off the nipple shield yet, but we've had some success feeding without it a couple of times. Your dad has finally relented and allowed small amounts of pink into your wardrobe (e.g. socks). You have a love/hate relationship with the car seat. As long as you have your pacifier in your mouth, all is good with the seat, but if
Our third month together is looking good. I know that in a couple of months you won't be sleeping as well, so I'm enjoying it while it lasts. The nursing problems are going to work themselves out, or we'll get help with them. Either way, that'll get better too. I wish you'd just stay this little for a lot longer than you're going to, but I can't change that. Instead, I'm just enjoying every cuddle and trying to soak in as many images and memories of you at this age as I possibly can. It's still a thing of wonder that you're here at all, that after so much time wishing and hoping and trying to have a baby, we have you. You're just what I wanted, and having you as part of our family is exactly like I imagined having a baby would be like. (Crying and everything!)
I love you and wouldn't trade you for anything or any other baby. You are my girl and will be forever.
Love forever,
Your Mommy
Friday, December 9, 2011
One Month
Dear Alex,
You've been with us for five weeks. We're starting to get the hang of taking care of you and figuring out what the issue is when you cry. (Hint: it's usually that you want food. You stick your tongue out as a very early sign that you're thinking about eating AGAIN.) You make the cutest, funniest faces, and when I'm tired and frustrated, watching you make some funny faces will cheer me up again immediately.
You are still in a Pavlik harness, but I think that very soon, maybe even at your next appointment to Shriners in three days, you'll be graduated to a smaller brace. This means you'll (probably) be able to wear normal onesies again instead of the side-snap T-shirts and we'll be able to see your feet again and wear normal sized- socks and leggings. None of this seems to phaze you at all, even the shoulder straps rubbing against your neck. The worst of it for you is that the straps slow us down while changing your diaper.
Over the last week or so, you've begun making sounds that aren't grunting and crying, words like "blerg" and "blat" that are very cute. You have started to reach your hands out toward things, though not very accurately, and I've seen you look at me and at Daddy more often, especially when you hear us. Less and less often are you looking to the sides or over the tops of our faces. You also get crossed eyes more often, which is really funny looking and, luckily, perfectly normal for young babies.
You want to eat more or less constantly. I pump milk regularly in self-defense, otherwise I'd constantly be sitting on the bed with you nursing. This way I can pump, which is faster than you getting milk directly from me, and feed you from the bottle, which you also drink more quickly than you would nurse with me.
This means that you're alert and just hanging out more often, too. I talk to you a lot, and make faces at you, and occasionally sing. (You don't like the singing part too much yet.) I feel like we should read to you more often. When we do, you look at the pictures, so you'd definitely be getting something out of it.
You've met all the major players in your life now: all of Mommy's and Daddy's "immediate" families (in Mommy's case that's more than her parents and siblings). I'm working on -okay, thinking about starting to work on - a photo book for you of all their faces and names so you can see their pictures more often. With all this time at the pump you'd think I'd have started it already, but I haven't. I haven't finalized your birth announcement yet either, although it's all ready to go except a second picture.
You are a total cuddle-bug. You never want to be put down. Very often I'll finish feeding you and hold you snuggled against my neck and shoulder. If I try to put you down, you'll wake up and protest and want to eat until you fall asleep again. I'm getting better about getting you back to sleep without the feeding. If you'd only learn to keep the pacifier in your mouth, that would be going a lot easier too.
Your Daddy and I love you a lot and are so glad you're part of our family.
Lots of love,
Mommy
You've been with us for five weeks. We're starting to get the hang of taking care of you and figuring out what the issue is when you cry. (Hint: it's usually that you want food. You stick your tongue out as a very early sign that you're thinking about eating AGAIN.) You make the cutest, funniest faces, and when I'm tired and frustrated, watching you make some funny faces will cheer me up again immediately.
You are still in a Pavlik harness, but I think that very soon, maybe even at your next appointment to Shriners in three days, you'll be graduated to a smaller brace. This means you'll (probably) be able to wear normal onesies again instead of the side-snap T-shirts and we'll be able to see your feet again and wear normal sized- socks and leggings. None of this seems to phaze you at all, even the shoulder straps rubbing against your neck. The worst of it for you is that the straps slow us down while changing your diaper.
Over the last week or so, you've begun making sounds that aren't grunting and crying, words like "blerg" and "blat" that are very cute. You have started to reach your hands out toward things, though not very accurately, and I've seen you look at me and at Daddy more often, especially when you hear us. Less and less often are you looking to the sides or over the tops of our faces. You also get crossed eyes more often, which is really funny looking and, luckily, perfectly normal for young babies.
You want to eat more or less constantly. I pump milk regularly in self-defense, otherwise I'd constantly be sitting on the bed with you nursing. This way I can pump, which is faster than you getting milk directly from me, and feed you from the bottle, which you also drink more quickly than you would nurse with me.
This means that you're alert and just hanging out more often, too. I talk to you a lot, and make faces at you, and occasionally sing. (You don't like the singing part too much yet.) I feel like we should read to you more often. When we do, you look at the pictures, so you'd definitely be getting something out of it.
You've met all the major players in your life now: all of Mommy's and Daddy's "immediate" families (in Mommy's case that's more than her parents and siblings). I'm working on -okay, thinking about starting to work on - a photo book for you of all their faces and names so you can see their pictures more often. With all this time at the pump you'd think I'd have started it already, but I haven't. I haven't finalized your birth announcement yet either, although it's all ready to go except a second picture.
You are a total cuddle-bug. You never want to be put down. Very often I'll finish feeding you and hold you snuggled against my neck and shoulder. If I try to put you down, you'll wake up and protest and want to eat until you fall asleep again. I'm getting better about getting you back to sleep without the feeding. If you'd only learn to keep the pacifier in your mouth, that would be going a lot easier too.
Your Daddy and I love you a lot and are so glad you're part of our family.
Lots of love,
Mommy
Saturday, November 12, 2011
You're here!!!!!!
Dear Alex,
You arrived a week ago today! You were scheduled to come out this past Monday, but you decided to come a couple of days early. Your dad and I had some plans for those last couple of days, like a last date out to the movies, taking some pregnancy pictures, and resting up for your big debut. We'd finished all our appointments and work commitments and were looking forward to relaxing over the weekend. I think maybe you sensed that all the important stuff had been done and that we were ready for you. I was certainly more relaxed. We had boneless wings and mac & cheese for dinner that night (yay comfort food), and watched "The Happiest Baby on the Block" DVD twice.
Around 3:30 in the morning I had a dream that I was in labor and trying to get hold of your dad on a cell phone so we could go to the hospital. I woke up to a feeling that things weren't quite right and i asked your dad to turn on the light so I could see if the sheets were wet. They were, and when I tried to get up, there was a gush of more wetness. I told your dad that my water broke, and he panicked a little. He got me towels to lay on, and I told him to call the midwives and our doula. We were told to come to the hospital for 8 and to call back if you stopped moving. Dad started to pack his bag. I was able to get up and get myself dressed and ready, and while I was doing that, some mild contractions started. They felt more like moderate period cramps than anything else.
We got in the car and to the hospital without incident. Dad tried to wheel me into the hospital and down the hall quietly, but the wheelchair had something wrong with it and was fantastically loud. Jodie, our doula, was waiting for us. We all went into a labor/delivery/recovery room and Dad and Jodie took pictures of me, as we hadn't taken that many when I was pregnant and this was our last chance. I got changed into the hospital gown & tried to knit/ relax as a parade of nurses and doctors came by to ask questions, introduce themselves, and poke me in various places. I didn't get much knitting done, and relaxing was pretty impossible too. There were just too many interruptions. We made our preferences known, that I wanted to have skin-to-skin contact with you as soon as possible, that Daddy wanted to announce your name/ sex, that Daddy wanted to cut the umbilical cord, that things be quiet when you came out. Daddy also wanted to see the entire operation, and the anesthesiologist told him no, that he "wouldn't be able to see anything anyway", standing behind the big blue curtain. She wanted him to sit on a stool and not even stand up, in case he fainted from all the blood and everything that goes with a surgery. All the other doctors were fine with it, though, and everyone advocated for him. Finally she allowed him to be able to move between the sides of the curtain, as long as the midwife went with him.
There came a time, though, when they gave Daddy and Jodie scrubs to wear into the operating room, and soon after that started to get my bed ready to wheel away. That's when it all became very real to me: when I next came back into that room, I wouldn't be pregnant anymore, and we'd have a baby. This is what we'd waited years for. It was finally happening. I started to cry. Daddy leaned over and kissed my cheek and squeezed my hand. Then all I could see was the ceiling moving as we went out of my room, across the hall, and into the operating room.
It was very white and very cold and reminded me a little of a spaceship - very sterile and empty of everything except equipment. There were only a few people in there, all scrubbed up and busy doing something. Two or three people helped me transfer to the operating table, and after a couple of false tries, the anesthesiologist gave me a spinal block, which is a shot in the back to make you numb from the chest down. The needle pricked a little, but it wasn't bad at all. The spinal made my feet warm up, then my legs and all the way up to my chest finally warmed up. Meanwhile, my arms were being held out to the sides and a pulse clip was put on my finger. The IV was hooked up, and the blood pressure cuff started to work every couple of minutes. My feet felt like they were asleep, and I couldn't feel anything else, really, below my chest. A couple of weird tugs as the OB was putting this orange-colored stuff on my belly. That was the last thing I saw happening to the rest of me before someone put up the blue curtain, only a few inches away from my face.
Suddenly there were a lot of people in the room. Jodie was next to me, and Daddy was there too. I asked him to hold my hand, and I started crying again. Things were getting close to the important stuff, and having them in the room just made me realize it more. Jodie said that having them there made it feel more human. I said I'd rather just distance myself from it so I could relax and not cry, and she said that was okay too. I closed my eyes, breathed deeply, and concentrated on what I was feeling, or not feeling in most cases. They tilted the bed a tiny bit to the left, and with my arms out to my sides and very limited field of vision (and an oxygen mask on), it felt a little like I was flying.
I kept breathing with my eyes closed, or else staring up at the blue sheet, and everyone got very focused. I couldn't feel anything, but from the sounds people were making, I knew something had started. Jodie narrated for me: "There are feet!" "There's just the head left to come out now." Then I heard "28" and knew that you had been born - they had just announced your time of birth but I hadn't heard the beginning part. I didn't know if it was closer to 9:30, 10:30, or 11:30, and I didn't care. I hadn't heard you yet. Jodie said "you have a baby!" and then, finally, I heard you crying. (You sounded mad.) I saw some action over to my left- you getting to the warmer near the pediatrician, who examined you and declared you stable. While she was doing that, Daddy came over and whispered to me, "We have an Alex." I knew that meant that you were a girl, because we'd decided to name you Jonas if you were a boy.
A couple of minutes later (after I'd thrown up), Daddy brought you over to me. You were wearing the yellow hat I'd knit for you and were wrapped in one of the hospital's receiving blankets. You didn't look like I expected, but I was really happy with how you looked - better than I could have made up on my own. Really cute, especially for a newborn. You weren't crying anymore, just hanging out in your Daddy's arms with your eyes closed. I could reach your head only enough to kiss you and rub your ear with one hand. You and I and Daddy stayed like this until I was stitched up and beginning to be a little sore. We were ready to go back into the recovery room, and I was tired. Jodie tried to help us begin to breastfeed, but I was so tired I was fighting to keep my eyes open, and you weren't much more alert but were doing better than I was, anyway. I fell asleep and could vaguely hear your Daddy and Jodie talking. I think Daddy got something to eat. He helped the nurse give you your first bath and cut the umbilical cord.
When I woke up, it was much easier to focus on what was going on around me. Pretty soon after that, we moved to our post partum room, which is where we would be staying for the next 4 days. There was more practice with nursing, and more sleeping, and lots of people coming in and out to take vital signs for you and me and show your daddy and me the basics of newborn care (like changing diapers - your dad did almost all of those, since I still hadn't been given the ok to get out of bed.).
There is a lot more I could write about recovering from birth and our stay in the hospital, but I don't think it would really interest you much. A couple of highlights:
The nursing info board in our room had a place for a daily plan. In that space when we moved in was written "get to know Alex, breastfeeding, skin-to-skin".
We had incredible nurses over the weekend, even overnight.They were friendly, helpful, patient, and thought you were just adorable (you were).
All your grandparents came to visit that night and again on Sunday. They all held you. Many, many pictures were taken.
Your auntie, Bubba, and Nana came to visit on Sunday night. More pictures, more holding. That was a really fun visit.
We had some trouble getting started with the breastfeeding, so they gave me a nipple shield to use. You wouldn't suck more than a couple of times without one, and even after that and after using a pump, we had to supplement with formula a little because you never seemed "satisfied" after feeding on both sides and getting whatever milk I could pump.
Your newborn going-home outfit was enormous! The pants fit okay, but the top went down to your knees and the sleeves were nearly double the correct length.
I'm really glad you're home and that you've been doing okay. There are concerns about your weight (not gaining it back after birth quickly enough) and your hips (loose joints). We're doing round-the-clock feeding with you, and it's definitely not easy. Round-the-clock means every 2 hours during the day and every 3 hours at night. You seem to always want to either eat early (or really long after I'm supposed to have stopped) or sleep past a feeding time. Or both. Your newest trick is to nurse for longer than you should, and then cry for more when I go to pump. Today your Daddy was at a meeting for 5 hours and you wouldn't let me put you down for four of them.
Tomorrow you have two doctor's appointments: One in the morning for your hips and one in the afternoon to check your weight again. I hope it's been going up so we can stop going to the doctor's every other day.
Right now Daddy has taken you to his office, and I am alone at home. This time to be quiet and take a shower and maybe sleep for a little bit is nice, even though I'm wondering how you Daddy will be able to work and hold you at the same time. He hasn't brought anything with him but you and a big blanket.
I love you,
~Mommy
You arrived a week ago today! You were scheduled to come out this past Monday, but you decided to come a couple of days early. Your dad and I had some plans for those last couple of days, like a last date out to the movies, taking some pregnancy pictures, and resting up for your big debut. We'd finished all our appointments and work commitments and were looking forward to relaxing over the weekend. I think maybe you sensed that all the important stuff had been done and that we were ready for you. I was certainly more relaxed. We had boneless wings and mac & cheese for dinner that night (yay comfort food), and watched "The Happiest Baby on the Block" DVD twice.
Around 3:30 in the morning I had a dream that I was in labor and trying to get hold of your dad on a cell phone so we could go to the hospital. I woke up to a feeling that things weren't quite right and i asked your dad to turn on the light so I could see if the sheets were wet. They were, and when I tried to get up, there was a gush of more wetness. I told your dad that my water broke, and he panicked a little. He got me towels to lay on, and I told him to call the midwives and our doula. We were told to come to the hospital for 8 and to call back if you stopped moving. Dad started to pack his bag. I was able to get up and get myself dressed and ready, and while I was doing that, some mild contractions started. They felt more like moderate period cramps than anything else.
We got in the car and to the hospital without incident. Dad tried to wheel me into the hospital and down the hall quietly, but the wheelchair had something wrong with it and was fantastically loud. Jodie, our doula, was waiting for us. We all went into a labor/delivery/recovery room and Dad and Jodie took pictures of me, as we hadn't taken that many when I was pregnant and this was our last chance. I got changed into the hospital gown & tried to knit/ relax as a parade of nurses and doctors came by to ask questions, introduce themselves, and poke me in various places. I didn't get much knitting done, and relaxing was pretty impossible too. There were just too many interruptions. We made our preferences known, that I wanted to have skin-to-skin contact with you as soon as possible, that Daddy wanted to announce your name/ sex, that Daddy wanted to cut the umbilical cord, that things be quiet when you came out. Daddy also wanted to see the entire operation, and the anesthesiologist told him no, that he "wouldn't be able to see anything anyway", standing behind the big blue curtain. She wanted him to sit on a stool and not even stand up, in case he fainted from all the blood and everything that goes with a surgery. All the other doctors were fine with it, though, and everyone advocated for him. Finally she allowed him to be able to move between the sides of the curtain, as long as the midwife went with him.
There came a time, though, when they gave Daddy and Jodie scrubs to wear into the operating room, and soon after that started to get my bed ready to wheel away. That's when it all became very real to me: when I next came back into that room, I wouldn't be pregnant anymore, and we'd have a baby. This is what we'd waited years for. It was finally happening. I started to cry. Daddy leaned over and kissed my cheek and squeezed my hand. Then all I could see was the ceiling moving as we went out of my room, across the hall, and into the operating room.
It was very white and very cold and reminded me a little of a spaceship - very sterile and empty of everything except equipment. There were only a few people in there, all scrubbed up and busy doing something. Two or three people helped me transfer to the operating table, and after a couple of false tries, the anesthesiologist gave me a spinal block, which is a shot in the back to make you numb from the chest down. The needle pricked a little, but it wasn't bad at all. The spinal made my feet warm up, then my legs and all the way up to my chest finally warmed up. Meanwhile, my arms were being held out to the sides and a pulse clip was put on my finger. The IV was hooked up, and the blood pressure cuff started to work every couple of minutes. My feet felt like they were asleep, and I couldn't feel anything else, really, below my chest. A couple of weird tugs as the OB was putting this orange-colored stuff on my belly. That was the last thing I saw happening to the rest of me before someone put up the blue curtain, only a few inches away from my face.
Suddenly there were a lot of people in the room. Jodie was next to me, and Daddy was there too. I asked him to hold my hand, and I started crying again. Things were getting close to the important stuff, and having them in the room just made me realize it more. Jodie said that having them there made it feel more human. I said I'd rather just distance myself from it so I could relax and not cry, and she said that was okay too. I closed my eyes, breathed deeply, and concentrated on what I was feeling, or not feeling in most cases. They tilted the bed a tiny bit to the left, and with my arms out to my sides and very limited field of vision (and an oxygen mask on), it felt a little like I was flying.
I kept breathing with my eyes closed, or else staring up at the blue sheet, and everyone got very focused. I couldn't feel anything, but from the sounds people were making, I knew something had started. Jodie narrated for me: "There are feet!" "There's just the head left to come out now." Then I heard "28" and knew that you had been born - they had just announced your time of birth but I hadn't heard the beginning part. I didn't know if it was closer to 9:30, 10:30, or 11:30, and I didn't care. I hadn't heard you yet. Jodie said "you have a baby!" and then, finally, I heard you crying. (You sounded mad.) I saw some action over to my left- you getting to the warmer near the pediatrician, who examined you and declared you stable. While she was doing that, Daddy came over and whispered to me, "We have an Alex." I knew that meant that you were a girl, because we'd decided to name you Jonas if you were a boy.
A couple of minutes later (after I'd thrown up), Daddy brought you over to me. You were wearing the yellow hat I'd knit for you and were wrapped in one of the hospital's receiving blankets. You didn't look like I expected, but I was really happy with how you looked - better than I could have made up on my own. Really cute, especially for a newborn. You weren't crying anymore, just hanging out in your Daddy's arms with your eyes closed. I could reach your head only enough to kiss you and rub your ear with one hand. You and I and Daddy stayed like this until I was stitched up and beginning to be a little sore. We were ready to go back into the recovery room, and I was tired. Jodie tried to help us begin to breastfeed, but I was so tired I was fighting to keep my eyes open, and you weren't much more alert but were doing better than I was, anyway. I fell asleep and could vaguely hear your Daddy and Jodie talking. I think Daddy got something to eat. He helped the nurse give you your first bath and cut the umbilical cord.
When I woke up, it was much easier to focus on what was going on around me. Pretty soon after that, we moved to our post partum room, which is where we would be staying for the next 4 days. There was more practice with nursing, and more sleeping, and lots of people coming in and out to take vital signs for you and me and show your daddy and me the basics of newborn care (like changing diapers - your dad did almost all of those, since I still hadn't been given the ok to get out of bed.).
There is a lot more I could write about recovering from birth and our stay in the hospital, but I don't think it would really interest you much. A couple of highlights:
The nursing info board in our room had a place for a daily plan. In that space when we moved in was written "get to know Alex, breastfeeding, skin-to-skin".
We had incredible nurses over the weekend, even overnight.They were friendly, helpful, patient, and thought you were just adorable (you were).
All your grandparents came to visit that night and again on Sunday. They all held you. Many, many pictures were taken.
Your auntie, Bubba, and Nana came to visit on Sunday night. More pictures, more holding. That was a really fun visit.
We had some trouble getting started with the breastfeeding, so they gave me a nipple shield to use. You wouldn't suck more than a couple of times without one, and even after that and after using a pump, we had to supplement with formula a little because you never seemed "satisfied" after feeding on both sides and getting whatever milk I could pump.
Your newborn going-home outfit was enormous! The pants fit okay, but the top went down to your knees and the sleeves were nearly double the correct length.
I'm really glad you're home and that you've been doing okay. There are concerns about your weight (not gaining it back after birth quickly enough) and your hips (loose joints). We're doing round-the-clock feeding with you, and it's definitely not easy. Round-the-clock means every 2 hours during the day and every 3 hours at night. You seem to always want to either eat early (or really long after I'm supposed to have stopped) or sleep past a feeding time. Or both. Your newest trick is to nurse for longer than you should, and then cry for more when I go to pump. Today your Daddy was at a meeting for 5 hours and you wouldn't let me put you down for four of them.
Tomorrow you have two doctor's appointments: One in the morning for your hips and one in the afternoon to check your weight again. I hope it's been going up so we can stop going to the doctor's every other day.
Right now Daddy has taken you to his office, and I am alone at home. This time to be quiet and take a shower and maybe sleep for a little bit is nice, even though I'm wondering how you Daddy will be able to work and hold you at the same time. He hasn't brought anything with him but you and a big blanket.
I love you,
~Mommy
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
You survived 2011
Dear Flash,
Since you have existed, you have been through/to the following:
Tornado (June)
Your mom's job lay-off (June)
Athens, Rome, Pompeii, London, Sicily (June/ July)
Greek strikes (July)
The premiere of the final Harry Potter movie (July)
London riots (July)
Your dad's new work location (July)
2 apartment moves (July, October)
Earthquake (September)
Hurricane Irene(September)
A car accident (September)
3 speech contests (September/October)
Record-breaking, unseasonable blizzard (October)
That's a pretty eventful nine months (well, 5 months - that tornado you conjured up seems to have started everything)! I'm just waiting for the locusts to descend tomorrow morning and for Mt. Tom to erupt sometime over the weekend. I'll probably be waving to a couple of nice pairs of horsemen in the sky on my way to the hospital Monday morning...because you're scheduled to be yanked out by your butt on Monday, and those are the last couple of things that need to happen before I can be convinced that I'm actually going to have a baby, and that all the infertility crap I've been enduring for the past 3-4 years has actually resulted in success.
Love, Mommy
P.S. Feel free to cancel the locusts, volcano, and horsemen. I'd really prefer to be calm when you finally join us here on the outside.
Since you have existed, you have been through/to the following:
Tornado (June)
Your mom's job lay-off (June)
Athens, Rome, Pompeii, London, Sicily (June/ July)
Greek strikes (July)
The premiere of the final Harry Potter movie (July)
London riots (July)
Your dad's new work location (July)
2 apartment moves (July, October)
Earthquake (September)
Hurricane Irene(September)
A car accident (September)
3 speech contests (September/October)
Record-breaking, unseasonable blizzard (October)
That's a pretty eventful nine months (well, 5 months - that tornado you conjured up seems to have started everything)! I'm just waiting for the locusts to descend tomorrow morning and for Mt. Tom to erupt sometime over the weekend. I'll probably be waving to a couple of nice pairs of horsemen in the sky on my way to the hospital Monday morning...because you're scheduled to be yanked out by your butt on Monday, and those are the last couple of things that need to happen before I can be convinced that I'm actually going to have a baby, and that all the infertility crap I've been enduring for the past 3-4 years has actually resulted in success.
Love, Mommy
P.S. Feel free to cancel the locusts, volcano, and horsemen. I'd really prefer to be calm when you finally join us here on the outside.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Update on what's been going on
Dear Flash,
Lots of stuff has been happening in the last few weeks, and luckily you have decided that you don't want to be part of it. That's fine, as we have a New Plan for your birth.
We moved into our new apartment, and it's wonderful. Ok, the layout is kinda weird, and really inconvenient for doing laundry, but everything's shiny and new and clean, we have a dishwasher, washer, and dryer, and plenty of room for all three of us, plus the occasional overnight guest. All the grandparents came over the day after the move and helped us unpack. By the end of that weekend, the entire kitchen was unpacked and finished, and the bathroom and our bedroom were about 98% done too. I've been working pretty hard on getting your room ready, and the office....well, that's still a work in progress, but we *are* making progress. Just very slowly.
You're still breech. We even tried to get you to turn with an external version, where the doctor tried to push your head and butt around so you would be head down, but you weren't having any of it. Dr. Kueny said that he could only move your head about 5-10 degrees in either direction. He and the nurses & midwife all agreed that you were a very happy baby, based on your heart rate monitoring, and that everything is going right except you were upside-down. My belly was sore to the touch for a few days after all this went down - not fun.
All this means that we had to choose a date for a planned c-section. Our choices were a weekday between Nov. 1 and Nov. 7. We chose the 7th to both give you more time to develop and to give me more weekdays in the hospital where we will have more regularly-scheduled staff instead of on-call people to help with recovery and nursing and everything. So, we have a date and time to expect you. Assuming, of course, that you don't decide to come early or turn head-down before the 7th.
This past Thursday, you and I drove an hour and a half out to the Berkshires so I could compete in a speech contest. I was nervous because that's far from our hospital, and at 38 weeks, it was possible I could go into labor. Also, snow was in the forecast, which confounded a lot of people, as it's still October. It did end up snowing, which I didn't mind, as I love snow, and I got to and from the contest without incident. (I placed third and got a little trophy. Not my best speech, but at least I did it.)
It was my first time this season wearing my winter coat, and guess what? Even with you sticking out way ahead of me, I could still button it! I think I'll be substantially thinner after you're born and I've recovered from the surgery. Going to a personal trainer for this entire pregnancy has helped me on so many levels.
It's snowing again today. A lot. Like, a Nor'Easter level of snow. Your Daddy and I slept REALLY late (we're stocking up before you get here) and now he's out buying curtains for your room. We're both so excited for you to be here! (But, please stay in until the 7th. As much as I love snow, and as cool a birth story as it would be to be born in an October blizzard, I'd much prefer a calm, leisurely surgery as opposed to a mad rush to the hospital and into the OR.)
Relax, hang out and enjoy the hospitality of my uterus for another 9 days, and we'll see you very soon! Daddy and I love you very much!
Love,
Mommy
Lots of stuff has been happening in the last few weeks, and luckily you have decided that you don't want to be part of it. That's fine, as we have a New Plan for your birth.
We moved into our new apartment, and it's wonderful. Ok, the layout is kinda weird, and really inconvenient for doing laundry, but everything's shiny and new and clean, we have a dishwasher, washer, and dryer, and plenty of room for all three of us, plus the occasional overnight guest. All the grandparents came over the day after the move and helped us unpack. By the end of that weekend, the entire kitchen was unpacked and finished, and the bathroom and our bedroom were about 98% done too. I've been working pretty hard on getting your room ready, and the office....well, that's still a work in progress, but we *are* making progress. Just very slowly.
You're still breech. We even tried to get you to turn with an external version, where the doctor tried to push your head and butt around so you would be head down, but you weren't having any of it. Dr. Kueny said that he could only move your head about 5-10 degrees in either direction. He and the nurses & midwife all agreed that you were a very happy baby, based on your heart rate monitoring, and that everything is going right except you were upside-down. My belly was sore to the touch for a few days after all this went down - not fun.
All this means that we had to choose a date for a planned c-section. Our choices were a weekday between Nov. 1 and Nov. 7. We chose the 7th to both give you more time to develop and to give me more weekdays in the hospital where we will have more regularly-scheduled staff instead of on-call people to help with recovery and nursing and everything. So, we have a date and time to expect you. Assuming, of course, that you don't decide to come early or turn head-down before the 7th.
This past Thursday, you and I drove an hour and a half out to the Berkshires so I could compete in a speech contest. I was nervous because that's far from our hospital, and at 38 weeks, it was possible I could go into labor. Also, snow was in the forecast, which confounded a lot of people, as it's still October. It did end up snowing, which I didn't mind, as I love snow, and I got to and from the contest without incident. (I placed third and got a little trophy. Not my best speech, but at least I did it.)
It was my first time this season wearing my winter coat, and guess what? Even with you sticking out way ahead of me, I could still button it! I think I'll be substantially thinner after you're born and I've recovered from the surgery. Going to a personal trainer for this entire pregnancy has helped me on so many levels.
It's snowing again today. A lot. Like, a Nor'Easter level of snow. Your Daddy and I slept REALLY late (we're stocking up before you get here) and now he's out buying curtains for your room. We're both so excited for you to be here! (But, please stay in until the 7th. As much as I love snow, and as cool a birth story as it would be to be born in an October blizzard, I'd much prefer a calm, leisurely surgery as opposed to a mad rush to the hospital and into the OR.)
Relax, hang out and enjoy the hospitality of my uterus for another 9 days, and we'll see you very soon! Daddy and I love you very much!
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Breech baby, Breech baby
Dear Flash,
You are freaking out everyone but me. You've been breech (butt down, legs piked up near your face) for about 10 weeks now, with no sign of wanting to flip head-down. Everyone else is wanting me to be in body positions that have my head lower than my hips, go to acupuncture/moxibustion/chiropractics, turn everything in the apartment upside down, pray, and do all sorts of things to get you to turn NOW. In fact, if you haven't turned head-down by next Thursday, they're going to schedule a version, which is when the dr physically puts his hands on my belly and pushes hard to move you around so you're facing the right way. Not comfortable for me, and not comfortable for you. In fact, "not comfortable" is an understatement.
While everyone else is wanting me to do this stuff on a nearly constant basis, I would like to sleep and not obsess over your position. You seem pretty comfortable where you are. I figure that you'll move when you're ready. If you don't, though, they'll be scheduling a c-section, which we'd all like to avoid. Wouldn't you rather come out on your own time and your own terms instead of having a doctor yank you out by the butt through the hidden side exit? I mean, I wouldn't be traumatized by a (planned) c-section, but it sounds like everyone else in the family would be.
The other little bit of excitement was your first visit to the ER/ Childbirth Center today. I was in a car accident, and even though I felt okay, I needed to go get checked out to be sure that you were okay too. I was a little worried that you wanted to make an appearance early, but the midwife said that you look "awesome". Excellent. :)
The only other major stressor on my plate (aside from your grandparents on my side, but that's another story, and fairly chronic) is The Move. We're supposed to move to a different apartment next week, but the university hasn't given us a move date. So it may be the week after. Which is making me extremely nervous, as I'd like to be settled in before you arrive. All your clothes, diapers, and gear are still in boxes and bags, and the vast majority isn't even here yet - it's at the grandparents'. Hopefully we'll get word that we can move in on a certain day and I can feel more confident about packing and asking for help settling once we move.
I am so excited for you to get here! I keep picturing what life will be like when I can see your face and hug and kiss you and play with you.
Love,
Your Mom
You are freaking out everyone but me. You've been breech (butt down, legs piked up near your face) for about 10 weeks now, with no sign of wanting to flip head-down. Everyone else is wanting me to be in body positions that have my head lower than my hips, go to acupuncture/moxibustion/chiropractics, turn everything in the apartment upside down, pray, and do all sorts of things to get you to turn NOW. In fact, if you haven't turned head-down by next Thursday, they're going to schedule a version, which is when the dr physically puts his hands on my belly and pushes hard to move you around so you're facing the right way. Not comfortable for me, and not comfortable for you. In fact, "not comfortable" is an understatement.
While everyone else is wanting me to do this stuff on a nearly constant basis, I would like to sleep and not obsess over your position. You seem pretty comfortable where you are. I figure that you'll move when you're ready. If you don't, though, they'll be scheduling a c-section, which we'd all like to avoid. Wouldn't you rather come out on your own time and your own terms instead of having a doctor yank you out by the butt through the hidden side exit? I mean, I wouldn't be traumatized by a (planned) c-section, but it sounds like everyone else in the family would be.
The other little bit of excitement was your first visit to the ER/ Childbirth Center today. I was in a car accident, and even though I felt okay, I needed to go get checked out to be sure that you were okay too. I was a little worried that you wanted to make an appearance early, but the midwife said that you look "awesome". Excellent. :)
The only other major stressor on my plate (aside from your grandparents on my side, but that's another story, and fairly chronic) is The Move. We're supposed to move to a different apartment next week, but the university hasn't given us a move date. So it may be the week after. Which is making me extremely nervous, as I'd like to be settled in before you arrive. All your clothes, diapers, and gear are still in boxes and bags, and the vast majority isn't even here yet - it's at the grandparents'. Hopefully we'll get word that we can move in on a certain day and I can feel more confident about packing and asking for help settling once we move.
I am so excited for you to get here! I keep picturing what life will be like when I can see your face and hug and kiss you and play with you.
Love,
Your Mom
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Hurricane Irene
Dear Flash,
You've been getting bigger. And moving more. I think I've felt your head (or your butt. Hard to tell.) You like music but don't like when I put my laptop or a book on my belly. The other day you gave me an extremely violent push when I was resting on my stomach.
Tomorrow we are going to see your first hurricane. We're living in an apartment on the university campus, and the university is taking care of a lot of things, like where to park the car so a tree won't fall on it and where we can live if we lose power for a long time. I really love storms, so I'm excited. I have plenty to knit and read, and your Daddy will be here too.
Medically, you're measuring a bit big, according to the midwife's tape measure. You'll be getting another ultrasound on Tuesday to check. I'm not too worried. Worst-case scenarios aren't that bad. And I'm glad I'll get to see you again. :)
Keep growing (but not too much or too fast!) and enjoy the hurricane!
Love you,
Mommy
You've been getting bigger. And moving more. I think I've felt your head (or your butt. Hard to tell.) You like music but don't like when I put my laptop or a book on my belly. The other day you gave me an extremely violent push when I was resting on my stomach.
Tomorrow we are going to see your first hurricane. We're living in an apartment on the university campus, and the university is taking care of a lot of things, like where to park the car so a tree won't fall on it and where we can live if we lose power for a long time. I really love storms, so I'm excited. I have plenty to knit and read, and your Daddy will be here too.
Medically, you're measuring a bit big, according to the midwife's tape measure. You'll be getting another ultrasound on Tuesday to check. I'm not too worried. Worst-case scenarios aren't that bad. And I'm glad I'll get to see you again. :)
Keep growing (but not too much or too fast!) and enjoy the hurricane!
Love you,
Mommy
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
To Viability and beyond!
Dear Flash,
You've gone from an impossible dream to an enigma to a squirmy little "thing" that keeps poking my belly button. In the past month/6 weeks, you've been all over Europe, kissed, rubbed, spoken to, and lectured. Today, you came with us on a very short-distance move across campus to a temporary apartment. I like the apartment, and that I didn't have to do any of the lifting or moving, but the loss of control is tough to deal with. There's a table in the middle of the living room, for example, that I would really like in the second bedroom. Also, as the second, more permanent, move is scheduled (tentatively) for early October. You're due in early November. Even with a best case scenario where you're late and Thanksgiving is all at Nana's house, that gives me only 4 or 5 weeks to get not only the nursery set up but also the ENTIRE APARTMENT. While enormously pregnant.
I'm also enormously pleased that we've made it to 25 weeks. That means that if you decide to come early, you have a pretty high chance of surviving, even if you have to spend a long time in a NICU. I have a feeling you're going to come too early, but since I was wrong about being pregnant at all, it's entirely possible you'll continue to be contrary and wait until mid/ late November to decide to make your debut.
I really like being pregnant with you. Getting you conceived was a long, hard process (to say the very least!), but I'm glad that part of this whole "get a baby" thing is easy for me.
I love you and love to know you're doing well in there. Just...please stop using my bladder as a trampoline.
Love,
~Mommy
You've gone from an impossible dream to an enigma to a squirmy little "thing" that keeps poking my belly button. In the past month/6 weeks, you've been all over Europe, kissed, rubbed, spoken to, and lectured. Today, you came with us on a very short-distance move across campus to a temporary apartment. I like the apartment, and that I didn't have to do any of the lifting or moving, but the loss of control is tough to deal with. There's a table in the middle of the living room, for example, that I would really like in the second bedroom. Also, as the second, more permanent, move is scheduled (tentatively) for early October. You're due in early November. Even with a best case scenario where you're late and Thanksgiving is all at Nana's house, that gives me only 4 or 5 weeks to get not only the nursery set up but also the ENTIRE APARTMENT. While enormously pregnant.
I'm also enormously pleased that we've made it to 25 weeks. That means that if you decide to come early, you have a pretty high chance of surviving, even if you have to spend a long time in a NICU. I have a feeling you're going to come too early, but since I was wrong about being pregnant at all, it's entirely possible you'll continue to be contrary and wait until mid/ late November to decide to make your debut.
I really like being pregnant with you. Getting you conceived was a long, hard process (to say the very least!), but I'm glad that part of this whole "get a baby" thing is easy for me.
I love you and love to know you're doing well in there. Just...please stop using my bladder as a trampoline.
Love,
~Mommy
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Movement
Dear Flash,
For the past few days, I have been able to feel you move a few times. It feels like a heartbeat in my tummy. It's really cool. :) We're trying to decide now whether to find out if you have boy-bits or girl-bits at the ultrasound on Wednesday. We don't want a ton of gender-specific clothes, so if we find out, we're not telling anybody. I just want to know what to call you, instead of Flash. The day after the ultrasound, I'm off to Europe! (Daddy's been there for about a month already). We're also moving to a new apartment, where we'll be living when you're born. There's a LOT going on right now, little one. I'm almost glad you're not here yet, since if you were, there would be no trip to Europe and the move would be a lot more complicated.
I'm doing lots of reading and preparation for your birth. I have no idea what it's going to be like, but I know what I don't want, and that's about as much as can actually be planned. I like reading stories about natural births, because it gives me confidence that I can do this without a ton of interventions and medications.
There are only two days left in this school year. I'm glad it's almost over. Very soon I can concentrate on you, and the new apartment, and setting up how things will be for the next couple of years. The trip to Europe isn't going to be too bad either! :) I'll be researching family history and seeing the premiere of the last Harry Potter movie.
I love you and can't wait to meet you. Life is going to get calmer in the next couple months, and then you're going to explode into the middle of it like a comet. :) It's going to be terrifying and amazing all at once.
Keep growing in there!
Love,
Mom
For the past few days, I have been able to feel you move a few times. It feels like a heartbeat in my tummy. It's really cool. :) We're trying to decide now whether to find out if you have boy-bits or girl-bits at the ultrasound on Wednesday. We don't want a ton of gender-specific clothes, so if we find out, we're not telling anybody. I just want to know what to call you, instead of Flash. The day after the ultrasound, I'm off to Europe! (Daddy's been there for about a month already). We're also moving to a new apartment, where we'll be living when you're born. There's a LOT going on right now, little one. I'm almost glad you're not here yet, since if you were, there would be no trip to Europe and the move would be a lot more complicated.
I'm doing lots of reading and preparation for your birth. I have no idea what it's going to be like, but I know what I don't want, and that's about as much as can actually be planned. I like reading stories about natural births, because it gives me confidence that I can do this without a ton of interventions and medications.
There are only two days left in this school year. I'm glad it's almost over. Very soon I can concentrate on you, and the new apartment, and setting up how things will be for the next couple of years. The trip to Europe isn't going to be too bad either! :) I'll be researching family history and seeing the premiere of the last Harry Potter movie.
I love you and can't wait to meet you. Life is going to get calmer in the next couple months, and then you're going to explode into the middle of it like a comet. :) It's going to be terrifying and amazing all at once.
Keep growing in there!
Love,
Mom
Thursday, June 2, 2011
You've Got Superpowers!
Dear Flash,
I'm not sure how you did it, but you managed to get me two free days off work without losing any sick days. You did it with a TORNADO. It made the national news. Every day that I've been at work or doing exercise, my heart rate has been shooting up extremely quickly. So I went to the doctor, who said it would be a good idea to rest for Thursday and Friday (I was planning on calling out on Friday anyway.) Just as I was making the decision to go to the doctor that night, and was considering taking two days off anyway, you managed, somehow, to form a funnel cloud in Westfield, then West Springfield. The cloud jumped the Connecticut River and traveled up the hill through Springfield, spreading destruction over more than a dozen communities. I was driving back from work when all this was going on, and although I got caught in some spectacular lightning (nice work on that, btw) and an insane downpour, I was far out of harm's way. Around the same time as my doctor was telling me to take two days off, Springfield canceled school. And today, just now, I found out that we're closed tomorrow too! If you happen to pull something like this again, child, keep in mind that loss of life is NOT acceptable. At least four people died. I'd rather use the sick days than have people die.
I'm still impressed with your power, though. I'm going to have my hands full after you're born, I see.
I love you anyway,
~Mom
I'm not sure how you did it, but you managed to get me two free days off work without losing any sick days. You did it with a TORNADO. It made the national news. Every day that I've been at work or doing exercise, my heart rate has been shooting up extremely quickly. So I went to the doctor, who said it would be a good idea to rest for Thursday and Friday (I was planning on calling out on Friday anyway.) Just as I was making the decision to go to the doctor that night, and was considering taking two days off anyway, you managed, somehow, to form a funnel cloud in Westfield, then West Springfield. The cloud jumped the Connecticut River and traveled up the hill through Springfield, spreading destruction over more than a dozen communities. I was driving back from work when all this was going on, and although I got caught in some spectacular lightning (nice work on that, btw) and an insane downpour, I was far out of harm's way. Around the same time as my doctor was telling me to take two days off, Springfield canceled school. And today, just now, I found out that we're closed tomorrow too! If you happen to pull something like this again, child, keep in mind that loss of life is NOT acceptable. At least four people died. I'd rather use the sick days than have people die.
I'm still impressed with your power, though. I'm going to have my hands full after you're born, I see.
I love you anyway,
~Mom
Monday, May 23, 2011
16 Weeks
Dear Flash,
Tomorrow you'll be 16 weeks. You've been a pretty good fetus so far. I've forgiven you for your early transgressions (nausea, loss of appetite, aversion to chocolate, etc) and am enjoying some extra energy, better appetite, and all around better feeling. I can't wait to feel you move and see you making my belly bigger.
Tomorrow night your Daddy leaves for Europe for awhile. In a month you and I will join him. I'm really hoping for the movement and showing by the time we get back, so I'll have some good stories about feeling you move in Europe. :)
I can't wait to meet you. I love you.
~Mom
Tomorrow you'll be 16 weeks. You've been a pretty good fetus so far. I've forgiven you for your early transgressions (nausea, loss of appetite, aversion to chocolate, etc) and am enjoying some extra energy, better appetite, and all around better feeling. I can't wait to feel you move and see you making my belly bigger.
Tomorrow night your Daddy leaves for Europe for awhile. In a month you and I will join him. I'm really hoping for the movement and showing by the time we get back, so I'll have some good stories about feeling you move in Europe. :)
I can't wait to meet you. I love you.
~Mom
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